Enhance iPod Touch
VIDEO BLOGGER: JACOB “THE WIZARD”
Learn what you can do with your iPod Touch. Multitask, increase memory, Jailbreaking, enhancing performance, and how to do everything you need to do to get the most out of your iPod Touch, no matter if it is 1st Generation or the most recent version! To view all of the Wizard’s videos on YouTube, click here: http://www.youtube.com/user/imagineage
Coping With Dementia: A Caregiver’s Guide
BLOGGERS: MARY A. LANGUIRAND, PHD
ROBERT F. BORNSTEIN, PHD
Many people who have experienced a loved one’s dementia have said that given the choice, they’d rather deal with almost any other ailment, no matter how painful or debilitating. Medical science has gotten pretty good at alleviating pain or restoring physical function—hearts can be made to beat properly, lost limbs can be accommodated with prosthetic devices, failed organs can be replaced via transplant. However, there’s almost nothing we can do to fix the deterioration of memory, communication skills, and reasoning that dementia steals away. Some recent experimental drugs hold promise, but at this point most of those medications are just that: experimental. And few experiences are as frustrating as watching a once-vibrant, intelligent, witty person deteriorate into a confused stranger.
There are numerous forms of dementia, and great differences from person to person in how dementia symptoms are expressed. However, all forms of dementia have certain common features. These include:
In the early stages of dementia, the person usually knows that ‘something is wrong’. She may realize that she is having difficulty remembering names, balancing a checkbook, or figuring out how to use the microwave. Some people acknowledge their problems openly and voice frustration, fear, or embarrassment about them. While this response may provoke worry in you, it’s actually pretty adaptive: It’s an opportunity to discuss the problems openly, and work on ways to address them.
Things get trickier when your loved one goes to great lengths to hide or deny their difficulties. They may offer plausible explanations and excuses. “I read perfectly well—I just need new glasses!” “The buttons on that remote are too small!” “I know exactly where I left my bag! It’s not there—somebody must have taken it!”
At first you will probably respond with problem-solving suggestions and helpful gestures, arranging eye appointments, buying new remotes, and so forth. You’ll eventually find that most of these efforts don’t actually solve the problems (even if they help temporarily). Worse, over time your efforts may be met with angry rejection, recriminations, or even abuse: Dementia is frightening to the person who has it (even if they deny it), and they’re likely to lash out at the nearest moving target. That’s you.
You may both get pretty frustrated and angry with one another during this period, and the relationship may become quite fraught. You feel that you are always encountering an angry, frightened, edgy person who is quick to attack you for their problems. The care-receiver feels that they’re being patronized, marginalized, or discounted.
As the disease progresses, the capacity for realizing that there are problems fades, and the person with dementia becomes less aware of her behavior and its impact. At this point, the patient is often blessed with ‘pleasant confusion,’ especially if their environment can anticipate and meet most of their needs successfully. They may not be able to tell you who’s president, name their grandchildren, or recall how to cook a favorite meal, but as long as they can be physically comfortable, they tend to accept whatever is happening without question. Some skills and pieces of information may be preserved pretty well—they may be able to knit with great skill, or recite baseball statistics from games they watched 30 years ago with total accuracy. Often, they will construct a sort of “Reader’s Digest” version of their life experiences and beliefs, which will be presented as indisputable fact. When the story is reasonably accurate and presents all the players in a favorable light, it can be a pretty good construct (so leave it alone). Problems arise when significant distortions or hard-to-hear criticisms of yourself or those you love get incorporated into the narrative. Hearing one parent criticize the other, or advise new acquaintances that your spouse is a real loser hurts, even if there’s some truth to the observation. Worse, you (and everyone else) will hear it over and over. The temptation to argue, correct, or defend may be very strong. Sadly, facts and logic usually get you nowhere.
So, what do you do? Some responses tend to work better than others.
First, remain calm. Answering the same question 20 times in one afternoon or hearing your loved one recite a totally skewed account of events for the hundredth time can make you want to scream. Losing your cool helps nobody. Your loved one did not develop dementia in order to annoy you, they’re not doing it on purpose, and they can’t help it. So change the subject. Suggest that you go out on the patio and look at the flowers. Take a break. If all else fails, leave—do something that will help you regain control. Take a walk, grab a cup or tea, call a friend, pray.
Distraction sometimes works. Some realities will not change however much you discuss them, rendering the interaction upsetting and pointless. “Re-direction” is the formal term for moving from a hot topic to something more neutral. It’s harder to do than it sounds, especially with people with dementia, who can be surprisingly stubborn in their focus on a given topic. However, persistence can sometimes pay off. “Why can’t I go home with you tonight?” can be countered with “They’re going to be showing your favorite movie in the dining room after dinner. Remember how great Bogart was in Casablanca?”
Keep problem-solving efforts reasonable. When Mom complains that the telephone buttons are too small, buy her a phone with bigger numbers. When she complains that there are ‘too many numbers to dial,’ program the speed dial function, and leave a note explaining how to use it. However, when she complains that she can’t actually reach anybody on the phone in spite of all these efforts, what are you supposed to do? That one’s a trap, so you may want to respond with a vague reply about ‘how busy people are these days,’ and change the topic. You cannot ‘solve’ dementia—know when to quit.
Here’s a key one: Try to acknowledge feeling, rather than content. “I want to go home” may actually mean “I miss the way things were,” “I’m frightened,” “I hate being sick,” or all of the above. You know your loved one well, and can probably make a pretty good guess about the feelings associated with many of the things she says. In this area the research findings are clear: Addressing the underlying feeling is more effective than arguing the logic.
That’s our best advice, but we’d like to hear from you as well. What are your experiences in coping with a loved one’s dementia. What has worked for you?
Robert Bornstein and Mary Languirand are the authors of When Someone You Love Needs Nursing Home, Assisted Living, or In Home Care, published by Newmarket Press (2009). Here’s the link: http://www.newmarketpress.com/title.asp?id=901
To find out more about Robert Bornstein, click his photo.
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Hi I’m Larry HeiserComputer BASICS for Boomers
I have been asked to help fellow boomers understand the basics of computers in terms and examples that are easy to understand.
I am not a wiz bang certified computer specialist so don’t expect a lot of fast phrased explanations in geek.
Like most of you, I use a computer every day at work and at home, and try to keep up with technology and how it relates to my specific needs.
It is my goal to translate what I have learned in simple terms, in the hope that it will help you better understand how to get the most out of your computer.
In upcoming episodes, I will present what I have come to understand about my computer.
I will talk about
The Central Processing Unit or CPU
Memory – do you have enough
Disk Drives (internal and external) – do you really know what it does.
Memory stick and memory cards
Data and system backup – do you have a backup of your stuff?
External devices that use: USB, FireWire, Bluetooth, and PCMCIA slots.
Internet and networking. Dial-up, DSL, Cable connections
If you have any questions about your computer, I will help you find the answer.
So send me a reply and let me know how I can help.
See you in the next blog.
Thanks
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