NPR-During CPR, Locking Lips May Not Be Necessary

July 29,2010

George Steinbrenner’s Split Personality

George Steinbrenner’s Split Personality: A Psychological Analysis

BLOGGER: JOEL WEINBERGER, PHD

As anyone who is even remotely interested in sports knows, George Steinbrenner, larger than life owner of the New York Yankees, has passed away at age 80.  We are inundated with interviews of those who knew him, specials on his network YES, major newspaper articles, and even commentaries on news and talk shows.  His appeal has reached well beyond the world of sports.  One theme that keeps appearing is what everyone refers to as a contradiction in his personality.  Mr. Steinbrenner was famously tough, impulsive, and bombastic.  He would fire employees at a whim, berate them, come close to harassing them with phone calls at all hours of the day and night, demand perfection, and ruled by fear.  At the same time, he was involved in many charitable causes, would help out those he had cruelly fired, and remain interested in the lives of his ex-employees.  So the question became, how could he be this cruel unfeeling person and, at the same time, this caring philanthropic person.  He was a walking contradiction.

This so-called paradox is more apparent than real.  The same personality characteristics that led to his angry, firing behavior led to his kindly, charitable acts.  In fact, Mr. Steinbrenner was completely consistent in his behavior.  Before I go on, let me state my biases up front.  I am a rabid Yankee fan and I loved reading about Mr. Steinbrenner.  I am absorbed in watching these tributes to him and would have loved to thank him personally for bringing the Yankees back to greatness.  My bottom line feeling towards him is a very positive one.  I also never did meet him so this is all based on known psychological principles but not on any personal knowledge of the man.

There are three characteristics that probably explain Mr. Steinbrenner’s apparently inconsistent behavior.  First, he was a passionately emotional person.  Although highly intelligent and even calculating, he was often ruled by his emotions and easily emotionally aroused.  Emotions came before reason for this man.  Second, he was impulsive.  He was a man of action and often acted without reflection.  That means his actions were often emotionally based.  Third, he was The Boss.  He needed to be in charge and he was in charge.  There was a paternalistic aspect to this.  He could be a caring or an unforgiving father but he was always the father.  That means the other person was always a subordinate, a son or a daughter.  Now let’s put this together.

As do all of us, Mr. Steinbrenner experienced a myriad of emotions that changed powerfully over time, sometimes over short periods of time.  We all love and hate the important people in our lives at different times, sometimes at the same time.  Unlike many of us, he was very comfortable having these emotions so that he did not question or deny them.  They ruled to the point that his behavior was often more driven by these emotions than by his rational reason.  Although this is generally true of people it was especially so for Mr. Steinbrenner.  He didn’t have the filters that most of us develop to consider what we should do when a thought occurs to us or an impulse to action is felt.  Mr. Steinbrenner was impulsive.  That meant that when an emotion hit him, he acted on it.  And he often did so without thinking much about it.  So when he felt angry, he acted angrily.  He fired people; he berated them.  When he had a question or a thought or an idea, he didn’t wait to think it through, he called the person at any hour and talked to him or her about it or he acted on it.  He was impulsive.  He was impulsive in what he said and impulsive in what he did.  And he was comfortable being this way.  This was behind his apparently uncaring and cruel actions.  It was also behind some of the lame brained things he did like hire a con man to get dirt on a player.  And it was behind some of his ill-considered quotes.  But when Mr. Steinbrenner had a positive emotion or a charitable impulse, he acted on that too and did so just as comfortably and easily.  So he rehired people.  He heard of a cause that moved him and immediately acted to help that cause.  He heard of an employee experiencing hard times and his feelings were stirred.  He acted and reached out to help that person.  As his emotions shifted and his impulses changed, he behaved differently.  The behavior looked inconsistent but was always consistent with the emotion de jure.  Look for emotional, not cognitive, triggers and you’ll see the consistency.

Finally, George Steinbrenner was The Boss.  No matter what he did, it had to reflect his status as the father figure, as the one in charge.  When he berated, or fired, or demanded an answer to something that had occurred to him in the last few minutes, or reacted to an event and offered the quotes that made the back page so often, he did so as the one in charge.  He was never a supplicant, a subordinate, or even an equal.  He was The Boss; the father.  This was true of his kind behaviors as well.  Whenever he helped someone, he did not have a back and forth.  He came from on high and bestowed his largesse.  He was still in charge.  He offered advice; he gave help.  Even when he took advice, it was from subordinates, not equals.  He was always the father and he retained the right to override and to second-guess his people.

So again, how could he be cruel and caring?  Because his emotions like the emotions of all of us shifted.  He just acted on all of them and he did so quickly.  He was impulsive.  And he was comfortable with it all.  How did he have the nerve to push people around, fire Yogi Berra, demand accounting from his subordinates at odd hours?  He was the boss, the father running the show as he saw fit.  How could the same man treat these people so well?  He was the boss, the father, providing them with his largesse.

In his case, it all worked.  Why?  Because he was extraordinarily intelligent, he was a talented executive, and because he had the carrots people wanted as well as the sticks they feared.  This style leads to mistakes and broken relationships but he was able to override those pitfalls because of his talent, charisma, and ultimately because winning was so important to him that he would back down if he saw that winning was in the offing.   Winning settled all scores and forgave all transgressions.   That is, whether you agree with it or not, he had a value that gave all of his actions meaning.

Joel Weinberger is Professor of Psychology at Adelphi University.  He is also co-founder of Implicit Strategies.  You can find out more about Joel at www.implicitstrategies.com.

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Our Race to Retirement: First Month

Financial Fluency: My first Month

BLOGGER: DEBORAH HEISER

Click this link to read the first article: Our Race to Retirement

Click this link to read the second article:  Our Race to Retirement: The Preparation Begins

A bit more than a month has passed since Jackie, Judy and I purchased our first stocks.  Here’s how it happened.  We took a financial fluency course and were inspired to compete (using 1,000) to see who could do the best at picking stocks.

Jackie, Judy and I each set up accounts for 1,000.  Here’s how we’ve done so far…

Debbie:

To start, I decided to use an old retirement account that had been doing poorly for many years (and I mean poorly – when I got it way more than 10 years ago, it had 5,000 in it.  Since that time, it has dipped to less than 1,000).  I wondered if I’d end up owing money on it and figured I couldn’t possibly do worse than the professionals who had managed it.

• I activated the account online and added some money to bring it up to 1000.
• Next, I started reading the Wall Street Journal and my usual news sources each morning.

Then I looked around at what I like personally, and what I use personally on a regular basis. I continued to read the papers and online news: NY Times, CNN, WSJ,  and I added something new.  I looked at what I tend to purchase, what I like, and what I notice others doing and buying.  Since I don’t’ eat out all that often, I didn’t feel comfortable buying fast food or restaurant/coffee shop stocks.  I also don’t have major brand loyalty when it comes to major stores for shopping.  I’ll go anywhere for the basics.  So, that left me with my annual gift that I get from my husband.  A handbag.  If there is a major holiday or birthday, I’m sure to get a handbag.  And, it is from Coach.  Although this didn’t start based on brand loyalty (he couldn’t find the store he was originally looking for and stopped in at a Coach store and bought the bag in the window).  I liked the bag, so rather than try something new, this bag purchase has become a tradition.  I looked around and noticed a lot of other women toting Coach bags and accessories: on the subway, in the grocery store, on the street, and in airports.  They are everywhere!  So, I made my first purchase of nearly 500.00 (I found out you don’t get much for 500.00) and left the rest of the money in the account to see how I did with my first pick.

• Then I watched as it did GREAT – it climbed, climbed and climbed.  I was feeling pretty good, so I threw caution to the wind, and went against my original idea of waiting 6 months to see who I did on my first stock and bought my second stock.  Hewlett Packard.

This was because I’ve always had HP printers, and everyone I know for the most part has HP printers.  I realized this isn’t a good reason to pick a stock, but it worked for Coach, so why not.  Anyway, it did well for a day or two and I felt like a stock picking winner.  Then…the decline.  Day after day, decline in both stocks.  In fact, I kept reading the news and came to find out even Coach CEO and EVPs sold massive amounts of their personal stocks in the company.  So, I am not considering myself a stock picking maven.

I did notice, though, the market has bounced back up and my stocks are about even with where they were when I purchased them.  I’m going to just sit back and wait to see how they do.  I’m not planning to impulsively sell them or do anything for now.

• So, end result, I’m down right now, from my original 1000.00, but not far down.  I’m doing better than the account was doing before I started, but let’s see how it all works out in the long run.

Judy:

Judy has a bit more knowledge than me (she is the smart one) and she bought her stocks when they got to a price per share she was comfortable with .  In her words “I placed orders on all these stocks.  I did a little research, saw the previous days lows and highs, and picked a figure a little higher than the low.  Wouldn’t you know, the stocks kept climbing from that day on!  It took a few days/weeks to secure my stocks at my order prices.”  Judy bought Target, Diamond ETF (I have no idea what that is) and Panera (based on her 18 year-old daughter’s advice).

Target and Diamond ETF went down, but Panera went up.

Jackie:

She opened her account, bought her stock, and hasn’t checked it since, so we have no idea how she’s done.   So, by default, unless she can prove otherwise, she moves behind me in this race.

So far…Race results are :

Judy

Debbie

Jackie

But don’t count anyone out yet.  The race continues!!!!

If you’d like to join in on the “race” leave a comment.

And, we welcome advice!

To read the bio for Deborah Heiser, click here.

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HTML 5 or FLASH?

HTML 5 or FLASH?

VIDEO BLOGGER: JACOB “THE WIZARD

HTML 5 or Flash? What is Apple doing? Could this change the history of the internet? What does this mean for you?

Get Wifi Anywhere

Get Wifi Anywhere!

VIDEO BLOGGER: JACOB “THE WIZARD”

In this video, Jacob shows how we can all get Wifi for your iPod or iPad ANYWHERE!  Using the Sprint Evo 4G Phone!  This won’t work without the Sprint EVO 4G phone, but if you are planning to purchase a new phone, and you want to use wifi, this may be the one you want to get.

Jacob is 14 years-old who gives tech reviews for ImagineAge.  We think he does a better job than most adults!  What do you think?

To view all of the Wizard’s reviews, click here!

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i0S4 Review

A Sneak Peak: iPod Touch iOS4 Review

Video Blogger:  Jacob “The Wizard”

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Sixty isn’t the “New” Anything

Sixty isn’t the “New” Anything

BLOGGER: RENEE FISHER

I’m venting. I’m seriously so tired of hearing people say things like “Sixty is the new fifty.” Or forty. Or even thirty. This morning, on one of the talk shows, I caught about 30 seconds of the guest going on and on about how sixty-year olds should go mountain climbing and have pajama parties and join Facebook and meet people on Match.com, whatever they want. OK, I thought, I like the general concept. But then the host asked, “So sixty is the new forty?” I froze. The guest chirpily answered, “No, sixty is the new twenty!!!”

OK, folks, here’s the deal. Sixty isn’t anything other than sixty. Got it? If you are twenty, and you like to jump up and down on a bed and have pillow fights, does that make twenty the new five?” If you are twenty, you are twenty. If you are sixty, you are sixty. Sorry, but the iPad doesn’t, to my knowledge, include a time machine.

I know what people are trying to say, but I’d like it said in a different way, a meaningful way: Sixty-year olds are redefining what it means to be sixty. We aren’t any age other than what we are. We are simply giving a new definition of what that is. My sixty three isn’t twenty (A quick check of my body parts will confirm that). But, my sixty three is vastly different than my parents’ sixty three.

Sixty year olds now have access to all the wonders medical science can provide, including replacing or repairing a lot of internal and external body parts. Medications and nutrition keep us alive longer. Gyms are on every street corner. And the internet allows up to connect with each other in a way that our parents’ generation couldn’t have conceived of (I met my Now Husband Dan on Match.com).

So, please, give us the respect we deserve. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am today. I wouldn’t change that for anything. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to magically change some things (two, for example). It just means I like me and I like me at sixty three. I’m not the “new twenty.” I’m the “new sixty three.”

I’m finished now.

Renee Fisher is a Realtor and writer who lives in the Washington, DC area.  She is the co-author of two award-winning books about life after 50 www.invisiblenomore.com and is the DC Boomer Humor columnist for examiner.com DC-Boomer-Humor-Examiner.

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iPad Review

iPad Review

Video Blogger: Jacob “The Wizard”

A review of the iPad as well as a look at some of the new iPad apps.

The Wizard: New iPhone, iPad, Skype, and OS 4

New iPhone, iPad, Skype, and OS4

VIDEO BLOGGER:  JACOB “THE WIZARD” HEISER

Is there a new iPhone coming?      Drop your iPods and pick up a new iPad! It is worth it.    Whats OS 4?

CAN SKYPE GET ANY BETTER?!          yes, yes it can!

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Midlife “Body Flow”

Midlife Body Flow

BLOGGER:  RENEE FISHER

Twice a week, I take a Pilates Reformer class at my gym. The “Reformer” is a big, lightly padded board on wheels, with levers, pulleys, weights, and other components, all employed without the benefit of a user’s manual. It was either invented by Mr Pilates, the same person who invented people like Madonna, who is one of his disciples. Or, it might have been invented by some unnamed person who wanted to “reform” what Mr Pilates invented, since regular Pilates consists of human beings working out on the floor, whereas this gives a person thousands of dollars worth of apparatus to insert between the floor and one’s body. In addition, we are sometimes given a large, hollow, padded box to place either “long ways” or “short ways” on the board. Since, as well all know now, I am still not clear which way is “long ways” or “short ways.” I watch what other people are doing, and copy them. Other equipment includes the “magic ring,” the “jump board” and “the pole.” I choose to take Reformer classes instead of regular Pilates, because when I tell people I do “Reformer Pilates” they have no idea what I am talking about and so are completely impressed. They assume it is some advanced form of Pilates, known only to Victoria Beckham and other anointed individuals. The exact opposite is true. Reformer means no working on the floor, which is much easier. And, because space is limited due to the size of the machines, it also means much smaller classes, affording either individual attention or, on really good days, some kibitzing among participants that can waste some time. The downside to Reformer is that it costs money in addition to my monthly gym membership. Regular Pilates is included in the membership fee. But I have never given even a thought to regular Pilates, so I keep paying. There is a lovely, older woman in my Reformer class. She is in her eighties and brings her portable oxygen equipment with her. I am not making this up. I like having her in class, because she needs extra time to arrange her oxygen whenever we switch position, and this corresponds exactly with the extra time I need to figure out what the instructor is talking about, since I am usually initially facing the exact opposite way that everyone else is. One day last week, the sweet older woman suggested to me that I take a class called “Body Flow,” which is, like regular Pilates, included in gym membership. She takes Body Flow once a week and Reformer once a week. It works perfectly for her. She said Body Flow allows people to work at their own level. This sold me. First off, I like the phrase “Body Flow.” And it has the added advantage of being something else that others are unfamiliar with when I tell them what I do at the gym. I took the Body Flow class a couple days later. There were about twenty women in the room, whose combined weight equaled one large meal. Our equipment consisted of a mat the thickness of a good quality paper towel. I should add that the sweet older woman wasn’t there. As I came into the gym, I had noticed her in the Reformer room, a bad sign. Aside from two grey-haired women who each looked like when they are not at the gym they are hiking the Appalachian Trail, I was old enough to be everyone else’s mother. The instructor started with the following words: “We have a really, really tough workout planned today! Get ready! We will twist our bodies around in all kinds of ways that human bodies are not meant to twist! This will be brutal!” I scanned the room, Apparently, these words were greeted as positive, since everyone around me looked like hyenas just presented with a fresh zebra kill. The instructor proceeded by throwing out names of positions in rapid-fire manner. Most of them involved animals. To me, everything sounded like “The Down Dirty Dog,” except for the one called either “Ape” or “Gorilla,” which involved bending over from a standing position and placing the entire palms of one’s hands under one’s feet. After awhile, I really wasn’t paying much attention. I sort of slumped down on my mat and wondered why an eighty-something year old woman with portable oxygen equipment would do this to me. Isn’t there some kind of rule that when people get to be a certain age they can’t screw around with your life?

Renee Fisher is a Realtor and writer who lives in the Washington, DC area.  She is the co-author of two award-winning books about life after 50 www.invisiblenomore.com and is the DC Boomer Humor columnist for examiner.com DC-Boomer-Humor-Examiner.

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