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SPANX
BLOGGER: RENEE FISHER
I bought a lovely dress to wear to my son’s wedding last September. I had to wear Spanx with this dress. Most people know about Spanx. I know about it because my former best friend Jean became a model, dumped me and now Spanx is her best friend. I also know about it because the 5’9” Hollywood celebs who weigh 95 lbs but who have “no eating disorder of any kind whatsoever under any circumstances uh uh no way,” all say they wear Spanx under their size 000 (then altered down) dresses.
All of this instilled in me a Spanx Anxiety Attack. First off, you could make Spanx out of steel-infused nuclear polymer and I still wouldn’t look like those people in the magazines. Several years ago, I went to Macys and tried on a pair of Spanx. Sure enough, my belly totally disappeared, as promised, but I immediately developed a midriff bulge that went all the way up to my neck.
When I got home from London, I went to Nordstrom. I brought the dress with me to the store. Not knowing which particular body area would be in crisis mode at the time, I gathered up all the available styles of Spanx they had. The only one I didn’t choose was the one with long legs. This was, after all, a knee length dress, and while the Spanx would make my legs look great, I wasn’t sure how attractive it would be to appear to be wearing a wet suit.
The nice salesgirl led me to a dressing room and unlocked the door for me, assuring absolute privacy and protecting the general public from mistakenly entering my dressing room and seeing what a 62 year old woman looks like, sans bra, doing a St Vitus Dance in front of a three-way mirror while trying to pull on a rubberized garment .
OK, let’s discuss. I start with a warning: The following might be too graphic for small children and too emotionally damaging for younger women who fear the aging process. The three-way mirror may be my friend (and I emphasize the word “may”) once I have completed putting on my clothing, but it is not something I enjoy when I am struggling to encase my torso in a space age tube of fabric. The first one I tried on had no built in bra—the Girls got so smashed down that it took me several minutes to locate them.
Another style had a bra (hallelujah!) but stopped a few inches past my waist. The moment I put it on, it started to roll up. I was sure that it would be at my breasts by the end of the ceremony and up to my neck by the time we made it to the reception. Subsequent styles had various other characteristics that didn’t work (don’t ask). I finally had to admit that no style, no matter how uplifting, how packed with tight space age polymer, how much coverage it afforded, could turn back the clock to those glorious tiny bikini days.
I chose the best two and marched out twice to show my husband who had been patiently waiting just outside the entrance to the dressing rooms. I let him choose the one he thought looked best with the dress; he preferred the one that was made like a leotard. I paid the $85, and, while the salesgirl was ringing up the purchase, thought for $85 I should be able to pay someone to stand in for me in the wedding photos.
“I’m really discouraged,” I told my husband as we exited into the mall. “What happened to my body?”
“I don’t know,” he said, “but if you find yours, look for mine as well.”
On the day of my son’s wedding, I put on the Spanx and noticed for the first time that the garment seemed to be missing a critical opening. Without this critical opening, I would have to take my dress off and remove the Spanx entirely in order to use the rest room. Basically, I would have to be naked. As this seemed an item entirely too significant to have passed Quality Control, I searched again. Sure enough, there was an opening, but it was so small and constructed in such a strange way that it would have required an accompanying video to explain its use.
I was fine during the ceremony. But, the minute we arrived at the reception, I had to use the rest room. I quickly calculated how long the Mother of the Groom would be required to be at the reception, and the answer was considerably longer than I would be able to contain myself. There was no getting around it: I headed for the rest room.
I decided to be cool, calm, rational, and methodical. That plan lasted about five seconds. The rest of the time I spent contorting myself so as not to wet my Pale Grey Mother of the Groom Dress Constructed Of That Kind of Fabric That Shows Every Single Drop of Anything That Could Possibly Get On It. Had I failed, I would have had to spend the entire reception in the bathroom stall and have food delivered to me under the stall door.
The wedding reception was fabulous, and, on my next trip to the rest room I surrendered and did what I had tried to avoid doing during the first trip. I’m not sure what the other women in the rest room thought to see a pile of clothing on the stall floor. I suspect that if I showed the Spanx to my husband he would have said, “Oh, you did this incorrectly,” or something like that, with that same voice he uses when he says, “You pushed the wrong button on the printer,” or “You were holding the remote backward (or upside down or sideways).” I will never ask him—I simply refuse to have a man explain my undergarments to me. Instead, I will go on a diet to lose ten pounds and never wear the Spanx again. When that fails, I will go to my seamstress and have her alter the Spanx.
Renee Fisher is a Realtor and writer who lives in the Washington, DC area. She is the co-author of two award-winning books about life after 50 www.invisiblenomore.com and is the DC Boomer Humor columnist for examiner.com DC-Boomer-Humor-Examiner.
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Posted 1 month, 1 week ago at 12:08. 8 comments
WELCOME TO MY KINDLE
BLOGGER: ARIN GOLDMAN
Last summer I received the Kindle e-book as a gift. Though curious about how the Kindle worked I had little interest in owning one so for awhile my Kindle stayed unwrapped while I contemplated whether or not to join the e-book generation. Alone one rainy weekend I decided to give it a try. It was very easy to set-up. Although you do need access to a computer to register both your Kindle and a credit card at Amazon.com, once registered all of your transactions take place through the ether (my word for the great wireless world of what I guess are mobile phone airwaves). A moment of shopping in the Kindle book store and I was able to download a book in just a few minutes. If instant gratification is your thing, the Kindle rates an A. l spent the rest of the day and night reading Sarah’s Key by Tatiana de Rosnay about a Jewish family rounded up by the French Police in Nazi occupied Paris in 1942. I was hooked. I loved the book and I enjoyed the ease of reading it on my Kindle. Having trouble seeing small print, not a problem, just adjust the print size to your liking. Always losing your place in hard copy books, again not a problem, the Kindle remembers your last page. In the mood for another book, just go to the search box and type in a name or an author and if its available in the Kindle library, downloading is just a click away.
As much as I enjoy my Kindle, I do miss a few things about reading hard copy books. I love the trip to the book store, in my case the Barnes and Noble around the corner. I enjoy walking around and looking at the newly published books, the table of the staff’s favorites, the new paper backs and the old classics. I also like hanging in the book store, with a cup of coffee and a few magazines. Though you can browse a lot of lists on your Kindle, including the NY Times best sellers or Amazon’s most frequently purchased, the physical experience of visiting a book store and the visual and tactile feel of a book is definitely something I miss. That said, I am enjoying my Kindle very much. I love the ease of satisfying my spur of the moment wim to read something new regardless of where I am. I much prefer carrying my Kindle to lugging around one or more heavy hard covered books and I enjoy the ability to adjust the size of the print to compensate for lighting and, I must admit, my not always cooperative eyes. As a result of its ease of use I am reading more than ever since I almost always have my Kindle with me, in waiting rooms, on subways, at home and on planes. Good news for Amazon, good news too for the authors and good news for me because the cost of an e-book is less than most hard copy books.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention one of the spookier things about the Kindle. When your Kindle’s wireless is on, which is generally all of the time unless you opt to turn it off, Amazon has a access to your device. When Amazon accidentally let readers buy e-copies of George Orwell’s books it was able to electronically wipe them off purchasers’ Kindles without warning. Although they suffered a flurry of bad publicity over this action and have promised never to act so intrusively again, the reality is that the Kindle “big brother” knows all. When my Kindle broke, Amazon impressively overnighted me a replacement but I have to admit that I was a little unnerved that my new Kindle knew where I was in the last book that I was reading. So buyer beware, if you find the idea of the gremlins at Amazon knowing what you are up to unacceptable, stick to hard copy books. If you are unphased by the new world than give the e-book a try.
One more thing, I have focused this note on the Kindle, because that is the e-book that I received as a gift. However, if you decide to go the e-book route, check out the new Barnes and Noble Nook and any of the other technologies now available. I’ll leave it to you to decide which one suits your needs and preferences. As for me I plan to keep reading my Kindle and browsing the book stores. When I feel a book needs to live in my home because it is so impressive, or beautiful or its something I want to share with all my friends, then I’ll probably still purchase a hard copy. As for the quick and easy reading of best sellers and other books that I am in the mood to try, I’ll take advantage of the e-book option.
A few books I’ve read on my Kindle lately that I highly recommend are the two Stieg Larsson’s books available in the US: The Girl With the Dragon Tatoo and The Girl Who Played with Fire. I also recently read The Help by Kathryn Stockett and am currently enjoying The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. If you are in the mood for something more topical and serious, try The Looming Tower by Lawrence Wright, a book that I would recommend in hard copy because I think it is the definitive book on the history of Al Queda, it serves as a good reference for understanding much of the tragedy and quagmire of Afghanistan and because the tables and references in the book are hard to appreciate in e-format.
Let me know what you are reading. I am always in the market for a good recommendation would enjoy hearing your views on any of the books I’ve mentioned.
To find out more about Arin, click on her photo
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Posted 3 months, 3 weeks ago at 12:08. Add a comment
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SONY HDR-CX100 HandyCam Review
VIDEO BLOGGER: JACOB HEISER
The Wizard gives a thorough review of the SONY HandyCam Model HDR-CX100. If you are in the market to purchase a video camera, this video will be very useful.
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Posted 4 months, 1 week ago at 12:08. 3 comments
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The Wizard reviews the Nintendo DSI. If you have any questions or comments, please let Jacob know!
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Posted 6 months, 3 weeks ago at 12:08. Add a comment
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iPod Touch Apps - Mail and Map
VIDEO BLOGGER: THE WIZARD
The Wizard has reviewed many of the apps for the iPod Touch and iPhone and two that he found helpful and useful were: the Mail app and the Map app. Learn how to install email on your ipod touch or iphone. Learn how to use the map app. The Wizard gives a step-by-step tutorial on how to do both! Let us know if this review is helpful and let us know your thoughts on these and any other great apps you know about!
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Posted 6 months, 4 weeks ago at 12:08. Add a comment
One Therapists’ Thoughts on the HBO Series In Treatment
BLOGGER: MARK J. HILSENROTH, PhD
I’m a big fan of the HBO series In Treatment and think it provides the general public with a fairly good representation of one type of psychotherapy, primarily treatment from a Psychodynamic orientation. The show’s protagonist, Dr. Paul Weston, discusses being a Psychoanalyst at the Washington (DC) Psychoanalytic Institute, which really exists, as well as having received his Ph.D. from the New School for Social Research, again a real Ph.D. program with a Psychodynamic orientation. A Psychodynamic orientation is a focus of treatment that examines a persons’ relational patterns from childhood through the present and how this pattern plays out in the relationship between therapist and patient. In addition there is a focus on the experiencing and expressing of emotions-especially in the moment during the session, as well as increasing insight, understanding and perspective on themselves and others. This is important with regard to Adelphi because the Derner Institute has a long and distinguished history of training and service to the community from this approach to treatment.
It is clear that the writers, directors and producers of the show have consulted with people in the field and have likely been in treatment themselves. This intimate knowledge of the interior of psychotherapy sessions translates into several well developed story lines and rich interpersonal narratives. These stories are brought to life by award winning actors and has garnered the series both critical and popular acclaim.
Now, while I enjoy the show and think Dr. Weston portrays what I believe to be fairly good treatment with many of his patients, that doesn’t mean he’s perfect. In fact, far from it as he struggles to deal with a wide assortment of issues in his personal life, not the least of which is the end of his marriage. I think what makes the show so compelling to watch and why people might connect with Dr. Weston is the open window into his struggle to balance his personal life and work, while exploring these issues in his own personal therapy. The show provides a unique perspective not only how a therapists’ own life events, strengths, weaknesses and vulnerability might affect their work; but also how the work with one patient may impact the work with another. Sometimes this confluence of issues can be very useful to facilitate the treatment process and sometimes it can be particularly detrimental. These negative effects can be especially pronounced and harmful to the treatment when the therapist is under high levels of stress. The show also demonstrates a phenomenon well known in the field regarding therapist burn out and an over identification with the caretaker role. When this occurs, therapists may use their work as a form of escape from problems in their own personal lives.
Regarding what Dr. Weston says and does during the sessions I find myself agreeing more often than not for much of the session, with most of his cases. Although in some of his cases I think he makes some errors that range from rather mild to very serious. This, I think, is another reason I like the show so much because again it portrays a complex perspective of therapeutic work. The “good,” the “bad” and the “I’m not exactly sure what to say or do” aspect of doing psychotherapy. And this is mirrored in research that demonstrates even with very good therapists there can be substantial variability across their caseload. That is, even the best therapists are not always as effective with all the people they treat. In sum, there are no perfect therapists, but many are “good-enough” to make a meaningful impact on the lives of those with whom they work.
As far as the reception to the show in the field, that I’m aware of, it tends to be mixed. I find that very many of the graduate students and trainees I speak with enjoy the show very much. They often report finding it useful to watch a therapist deal with different issues and intervene in different ways. As shocking as it may sound it’s not so often that trainees get to view other therapists’ work. This can often be very useful by having multiple reference points on how you could communicate different interventions to people seeking help for a variety of problems. With my more experienced colleagues, I hear far more varied opinions on the show and several that are very negative and critical. I get the sense from these colleagues that they seem much more focused on the less effective interventions or problems aspects in Dr. Weston’s work, as well as expressing a concern that the show might undermine the faith people may place in their therapist. In addition, I have heard criticisms that some of the issues portrayed in his personal life and their impact on his work are often exaggerated for the drama of television. While these concerns are certainly reasonable, in the end I believe the show will have a positive impact on psychotherapy in general, and psychodynamic psychotherapy in particular, because it affords the public one perspective of what therapy “might be like” for themselves. That is, it may make some people curious about the possibility of psychotherapy to help improve their lives. I think anything that creates curiosity for a person to try and understand themselves better is a good thing and think most therapists, including Dr. Weston, would agree.
To read Dr. Hilsenroth’s other blog “ How to Find a Good Therapist”, click the link below.
http://blog.imagineage.com/how-do-i-find-a-good-therapist-a-few-practical-suggestions/
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Posted 7 months ago at 12:08. 1 comment
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The Wizard received a comment asking where he purchased his microphone and speaker that he uses for skype and other forms of communication with his iPod Touch. Jacob gives the information needed - where to buy it - how it works and all the details you need.
Still have questions on this or anything else technical? Leave comments and questions - Jacob will use his Wizardly skills to find the information you need and video back to you! Don’t be shy - we’d love to hear from you!
To find out more about the Wizard and to watch his other videos, click his picture below:
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Posted 7 months, 3 weeks ago at 12:08. 3 comments
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The Wizard tells how to get your iPod Touch replaced if it breaks or doesn’t work properly. This is important information for anyone who owns an iPod Touch!
To find out more about the Wizard, click here.
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Posted 8 months, 1 week ago at 12:08. 2 comments
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The Wizard does it again! Learn how to use skype on your iPod Touch! Now you can make your calls for free as you usually do with skype - but you can take it to the streets, on the road, or wherever you are with your iPod Touch!
For more information on the Wizard, click this link to read his bio.
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Posted 8 months, 2 weeks ago at 12:08. 3 comments
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iPOD TOUCH CHAT
VIDEO BLOGGER: The Wizard
A chat about the iPod Touch - how a mid-lifer and a teenager can both like the same product. In fact, they have some of the same applications. The chat shows the iPod Touch is useful for people of all ages.
All video taping was done by Jacob “The Wizard” Heiser
To learn more about “The Wizard, click here.
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Posted 9 months, 3 weeks ago at 12:08. 2 comments
